Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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