he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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