And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My penis needs a shock collar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
