i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
