Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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