that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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