I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
