don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize