He kissed a someone with a penis
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
