I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
