I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
