yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
