I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
