dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
