Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
