just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
