and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
