every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
