i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
