wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
