Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
