Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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