Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
