you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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