He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
