It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
there is puke in my bra ... again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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