so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ok first of all what the fuck
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
