she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
