We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
