Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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