The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
