How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
