I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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