I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
