One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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