My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
