it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
