I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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