I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
