She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize