Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
