So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize