sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't deserve a penis
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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