when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
