I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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