3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
