dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
