Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
