Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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