Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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