She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
