i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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