Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
