do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize