Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
