Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
