Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize