yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize