The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
