It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
