no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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