just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
