Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
