oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
