take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
