we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
