Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
